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Edge of the Preserve, Tuesday Afternoon
May. 11th, 2021 08:00 pmThere was something Lucifer had said last week that Octavia had been trying not to think about ever since. It was an indirect thing: he'd just noted that Duke's birthday was coming up next month.
But that wasn't what Octavia had taken away from it.
Duke's birthday was at the beginning of June. Octavia had missed his last one because of something that had happened last year in May. And it was that something that she'd refused to think about for several days now, because what did it matter now? It had happened, and then seven years of shit had happened afterwards, and all of that weighed harder on her than a single moment ever could. It was too small a thing to be worth talking about in therapy, and so she hadn't touched on it in today's session. Hadn't even thought about it.
But upon her return to the island, something had compelled her to head to the preserve. She'd missed it, after all, during their San Diego trip. Being on the water was one of her favorite things, but the woods were still her first love, even if the years had complicated that feeling a lot.
But this time, she barely made it into the preserve. Barely made it past the very edge before something made her stop and almost sway in place for a moment, like she'd just walked into a wall. Suddenly all she could think about was that single, supposedly insignificant moment years ago, with Bellamy, taking a turn and finding themselves lost, not just in these woods but in the multiverse --
She couldn't make herself take another step. No matter how hard she tried to tell her feet to just move, keep going forward, she couldn't. Nothing happened. All she could really do was try and not give into the wild, feral fear creeping up her spine, whispering in her ears that if she took even just one more step, she'd be taken again. Lost again. Stripped of everything she loved, again.
Octavia squeezed her eyes tightly shut.
Murmured, breathless, "I am not afraid."
It didn't do enough.
[ooc: Open if you wanna, but with an SP warning.]
But that wasn't what Octavia had taken away from it.
Duke's birthday was at the beginning of June. Octavia had missed his last one because of something that had happened last year in May. And it was that something that she'd refused to think about for several days now, because what did it matter now? It had happened, and then seven years of shit had happened afterwards, and all of that weighed harder on her than a single moment ever could. It was too small a thing to be worth talking about in therapy, and so she hadn't touched on it in today's session. Hadn't even thought about it.
But upon her return to the island, something had compelled her to head to the preserve. She'd missed it, after all, during their San Diego trip. Being on the water was one of her favorite things, but the woods were still her first love, even if the years had complicated that feeling a lot.
But this time, she barely made it into the preserve. Barely made it past the very edge before something made her stop and almost sway in place for a moment, like she'd just walked into a wall. Suddenly all she could think about was that single, supposedly insignificant moment years ago, with Bellamy, taking a turn and finding themselves lost, not just in these woods but in the multiverse --
She couldn't make herself take another step. No matter how hard she tried to tell her feet to just move, keep going forward, she couldn't. Nothing happened. All she could really do was try and not give into the wild, feral fear creeping up her spine, whispering in her ears that if she took even just one more step, she'd be taken again. Lost again. Stripped of everything she loved, again.
Octavia squeezed her eyes tightly shut.
Murmured, breathless, "I am not afraid."
It didn't do enough.
[ooc: Open if you wanna, but with an SP warning.]
