( Octavia has a nightmare, and everyone has a bad time. )
[ooc: NFB, NFI. Preplayed with the ever-wonderful![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
my_own_advocate and betterthanaplan.]
[ooc: NFB, NFI. Preplayed with the ever-wonderful
my_own_advocate and betterthanaplan.]
The nightmares were back.
They always came back, so Octavia probably shouldn't have felt as disappointed about it as she did. Suppose she should've even been grateful that at least she hadn't woken up in a full panic, this time. Just uncomfortable. And uncomfortable hadn't been enough to immediately wake up the other people in bed.
She'd slipped away quietly, doing her best not to disturb them.
And now she was out on the deck, standing by the gunwale, wrapped up in a blanket. Watching the full moon reflect off the water, trying to find some steady ground - well, metaphorically speaking, anyway. The ship swayed slowly under her untied boots, and that was a welcome thing.
The dreams were still echoing around her skull. The pit, as always. Ilian. Bellamy. Blodreina.
Butterflies, burning.
Octavia drew in a slow breath, and tipped her head back on the exhale, looking up at the sky.
[ooc: NFB due to distance, but open if her fellow boat-dwellers want.]
They always came back, so Octavia probably shouldn't have felt as disappointed about it as she did. Suppose she should've even been grateful that at least she hadn't woken up in a full panic, this time. Just uncomfortable. And uncomfortable hadn't been enough to immediately wake up the other people in bed.
She'd slipped away quietly, doing her best not to disturb them.
And now she was out on the deck, standing by the gunwale, wrapped up in a blanket. Watching the full moon reflect off the water, trying to find some steady ground - well, metaphorically speaking, anyway. The ship swayed slowly under her untied boots, and that was a welcome thing.
The dreams were still echoing around her skull. The pit, as always. Ilian. Bellamy. Blodreina.
Butterflies, burning.
Octavia drew in a slow breath, and tipped her head back on the exhale, looking up at the sky.
[ooc: NFB due to distance, but open if her fellow boat-dwellers want.]
Octavia had spent most of yesterday out in the woods. And then, although she'd been home on the Rouge for dinner, she'd chosen to sleep over on her own boat, instead. It hadn't saved her from the nightmares - so much blood, and so many people telling her she wasn't worth anything - but it had saved her from unwillingly bleeding any trauma onto Duke, so... Win?
It didn't feel like one.
And now it was morning, and still kind of groggy and exhausted, Octavia had just climbed up onto the deck of her boat, with a bottle of water and whatever snacks she'd had stashed away, for breakfast. She looked up at the sky. All those clouds did not bode well.
Edward and his crew had had the right idea, getting the fuck away from the island.
[ooc: So open! ETA: content warning for (remembered) cannibalism, self-harm and suicidal ideation.]
It didn't feel like one.
And now it was morning, and still kind of groggy and exhausted, Octavia had just climbed up onto the deck of her boat, with a bottle of water and whatever snacks she'd had stashed away, for breakfast. She looked up at the sky. All those clouds did not bode well.
Edward and his crew had had the right idea, getting the fuck away from the island.
[ooc: So open! ETA: content warning for (remembered) cannibalism, self-harm and suicidal ideation.]
Port of Fandom, Friday Morning
Jul. 3rd, 2020 02:12 pmOctavia had a boat. A 2001 Sea Ray Amberjack 290, to be exact, though even Octavia only knew that because it said so on the manual. It was a 29-foot thing of fiberglass that looked tiny next to the Cape Rouge.
The name painted on the back was Samsara. Octavia was yet to look that up.
She'd slept terribly last night. In fact, she felt like she'd barely slept at all. The nightmares hadn't exactly let up since the beginning of the week: instead, they were just gaining variety. Most things were still replays of things that had happened, but her subconscious was still adding new things into the mix. Faces from Fandom in places they shouldn't have been, for one.
But yesterday would have been - had been Bellamy's birthday. And as much as Octavia had tried to ignore it all day...
Well. She'd given up on sleep early this morning, and had slipped off the Rouge and come here. To distract herself by trying to learn everything she could. Or trying to distract herself, anyway. She was on the deck, sitting in the back, reading up on general boat maintenance in the manual.
She'd read this same page about five times, now.
[ooc: Open port is open, chick is... tired and volatile.]
The name painted on the back was Samsara. Octavia was yet to look that up.
She'd slept terribly last night. In fact, she felt like she'd barely slept at all. The nightmares hadn't exactly let up since the beginning of the week: instead, they were just gaining variety. Most things were still replays of things that had happened, but her subconscious was still adding new things into the mix. Faces from Fandom in places they shouldn't have been, for one.
But yesterday would have been - had been Bellamy's birthday. And as much as Octavia had tried to ignore it all day...
Well. She'd given up on sleep early this morning, and had slipped off the Rouge and come here. To distract herself by trying to learn everything she could. Or trying to distract herself, anyway. She was on the deck, sitting in the back, reading up on general boat maintenance in the manual.
She'd read this same page about five times, now.
[ooc: Open port is open, chick is... tired and volatile.]
It would have been an overstatement to say Octavia had been sleeping well over the last couple of weeks. Although she slept a lot, her sleep had tended to be fitful, restless. But, so far, whenever she actually managed sleep, it had been of the exhausted, dreamless kind.
As Sunday turned into Monday, her luck on that front finally ran out.
( And she was back in the gorge. )
It wasn't a scream, out in the real world. Octavia had spent too long under everyone's constant attention to let her guard slip that far down even as she slept. It was muffled, more like a whimpery mumble.
"Ilian, no --"
And she was fidgeting. Still felt like she couldn't move.
[ooc: For that guy in the bed. Content warning for some gore under the cut. ETA: Extra content warning for the thread for vague suicidal ideation, talk of past NPC deaths and probably various other sensitive subjects.]
As Sunday turned into Monday, her luck on that front finally ran out.
( And she was back in the gorge. )
It wasn't a scream, out in the real world. Octavia had spent too long under everyone's constant attention to let her guard slip that far down even as she slept. It was muffled, more like a whimpery mumble.
"Ilian, no --"
And she was fidgeting. Still felt like she couldn't move.
[ooc: For that guy in the bed. Content warning for some gore under the cut. ETA: Extra content warning for the thread for vague suicidal ideation, talk of past NPC deaths and probably various other sensitive subjects.]
The bob and sway of the Cape Rouge was not the same as the engine thrum of the Ark. But it was similar enough that sometimes there could be something almost soothing about it to a space station baby, like Octavia.
But not tonight.
( She feels the vibrations of the Ark through the walls around her. )
That was what Octavia woke up to, in the middle of the night, just -- gasping for breath, immediately scrambling up to sitting, trying to desperately force air into her lungs. Her wide eyes stared wildly into the darkness of the room, not really seeing it. Still half dreaming.
Still half back on the Ark.
... Sorry, Duke.
[ooc: For the jaka who has to deal with this mess now. Content warning for (nightmare) allusions to prostitution and child abuse, with general dark backstory stuff to likely follow in the comments.]
But not tonight.
( She feels the vibrations of the Ark through the walls around her. )
That was what Octavia woke up to, in the middle of the night, just -- gasping for breath, immediately scrambling up to sitting, trying to desperately force air into her lungs. Her wide eyes stared wildly into the darkness of the room, not really seeing it. Still half dreaming.
Still half back on the Ark.
... Sorry, Duke.
[ooc: For the jaka who has to deal with this mess now. Content warning for (nightmare) allusions to prostitution and child abuse, with general dark backstory stuff to likely follow in the comments.]
