Edge of the Preserve, Tuesday Afternoon

[okteiviakom]

There was something Lucifer had said last week that Octavia had been trying not to think about ever since. It was an indirect thing: he'd just noted that Duke's birthday was coming up next month.

But that wasn't what Octavia had taken away from it.

Duke's birthday was at the beginning of June. Octavia had missed his last one because of something that had happened last year in May. And it was that something that she'd refused to think about for several days now, because what did it matter now? It had happened, and then seven years of shit had happened afterwards, and all of that weighed harder on her than a single moment ever could. It was too small a thing to be worth talking about in therapy, and so she hadn't touched on it in today's session. Hadn't even thought about it.

But upon her return to the island, something had compelled her to head to the preserve. She'd missed it, after all, during their San Diego trip. Being on the water was one of her favorite things, but the woods were still her first love, even if the years had complicated that feeling a lot.

But this time, she barely made it into the preserve. Barely made it past the very edge before something made her stop and almost sway in place for a moment, like she'd just walked into a wall. Suddenly all she could think about was that single, supposedly insignificant moment years ago, with Bellamy, taking a turn and finding themselves lost, not just in these woods but in the multiverse --

She couldn't make herself take another step. No matter how hard she tried to tell her feet to just move, keep going forward, she couldn't. Nothing happened. All she could really do was try and not give into the wild, feral fear creeping up her spine, whispering in her ears that if she took even just one more step, she'd be taken again. Lost again. Stripped of everything she loved, again.

Octavia squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

Murmured, breathless, "I am not afraid."

It didn't do enough.

[ooc: Open if you wanna, but with an SP warning.]

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[desertwolfcub]

It was nowhere near the full moon (it was, in fact, about as far away from the full moon as you could get), but Malia figured it would be good to get the lay of the land while she still thought like a human.

Also, the bird guy's class had been annoying, and she needed a break from trying to people.

She saw the woman at the edge of the woods and was about to turn and head in from another direction when the wind shifted. Malia sniffed, frowning.

This lady was terrified.

"Are you okay?"

Please pardon the brusque tone in her voice, Octavia. This was actually her trying to be sympathetic.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia startled at the unfamiliar voice.

There was something wild, something a little too wide about her eyes as she whipped around to look back.

[desertwolfcub]

"You smell like fear," Malia said, standing more than an arm's length away from her, her hands loose at her sides. "Stink like it, actually. If you're afraid of the woods, you could just not go in there."

[okteiviakom]

Well, this stranger didn't look like a threat, so that was a good thing.

Still a stranger, though.

Octavia blinked at her. "What?" she asked. Her voice was going steely even as the rest of her felt like it was about to break into tremors all over. "Who are you?"

[desertwolfcub]

"Malia. New student." Malia tilted her head. "You?"

[okteiviakom]

New student. Definitely still Fandom.

... Not that any part of Octavia had thought it might not be. Obviously.

"Doesn't matter," she said, forcing herself to turn towards the woods again. "You should go."

[desertwolfcub]

"Why?" Malia looked into the woods, frowning and sniffing again. All she could smell was this woman's fear. "What's in there that you're so afraid of?"

[okteiviakom]

"Nothing."

Sounding less tense might have sold that better, Tavi.

(Also reeking less of terror.)

[desertwolfcub]

Malia sighed. "I'm a werecoyote," she said. "I can literally smell you freaking out. And I'm kinda hoping to hang out out here a lot so if there's something bad, I wanna know."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia was going to parse and process that first part at some later moment in time.

"Fine," she snapped, whirling around again. "By the island's count, about a year ago --" Exactly a year ago, but she didn't know that, and that was for the best. "-- I was in these woods when I got flung across time and space, and I didn't get to come back for the next seven years."

Anger was always easy to fall back on.

[desertwolfcub]

Malia looked at her. Then looked at the woods, her nose wrinkling in a frown. Then back at her.

“Is it going to do it again?”

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's fury seemed to dim a little, but it didn't go away. A glare remained, and now she just sounded like every word was a struggle to push past her teeth.

"I don't know."

That was the raw truth, right? What made her so terrified that she couldn't even take another step into the woods.

[desertwolfcub]

Malia nodded and scanned the woods again, like she might spot a portal among the trees. Or smell it. “Looks okay to me.”

She looked back at Octavia, wishing she could make this lady stop smelling like fear.

“I turned into a coyote when I was nine and spent the next eight years living in the woods by myself,” she offered.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's expression faltered. Turned a confused sort of wary.

"What?"

Yeah, she hadn't processed any of the coyote part the first time around.

[desertwolfcub]

“That’s why I’m hoping to spend time out here,” Malia explained. “I lived there longer than I’ve lived anywhere else.”

[okteiviakom]

Sorry about how slow the traumatized lady seemed to be about taking in any of that, Malia.

Because Octavia was still kind of just staring.

[desertwolfcub]

Malia stared back, wondering if she’d broken her.

[okteiviakom]

All pre-existing damage, unfortunately.

"You lived in the woods," Octavia said, slowly. "By yourself."

[desertwolfcub]

Malia nodded. “That’s what I just said, yeah.”

[okteiviakom]

Something about Octavia's eyes sharpened a little. But maybe that was a good thing. A sign of a little more control.

"As a coyote."

There was no telling whether she actually needed to complete that thought out loud, or if she was just being petty about it.

[desertwolfcub]

"Yes."

Was she about to be called crazy? This lady had just talked about getting sent home for seven years a year go. That seemed way crazier than 'werecoyote', really.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's expression was shifting back towards wary, just without the underlying panic, this time. (Mostly.) "Longest I was ever an animal was a month."

So.

No accusations of 'crazy', here.

[desertwolfcub]

"Yeah, I guess I'm kind of . . . unusual," Malia said, shrugging. "My therapist says I didn't want to deal with the guilt of killing my mom and my little sister."

She said that very matter-of-factly for how much of a life-defining trauma it was.

"Are you a shifter too, then?" She sniffed. "You don't smell like a wolf."

[okteiviakom]

... Octavia was going to feel extremely drained once she got back to port, tonight. She could practically feel it in her bones, already.

Everything dropped into mildness.

"No. Island just likes making me a raccoon, sometimes."

[desertwolfcub]

Malia nodded as though that made perfect sense.

"Do you miss it?"