Lucifer's Mansion, Sunday Night

[okteiviakom]

Octavia had been feeling kind of... restless, this week. But keeping it to herself, because Duke had been having a rougher time, and anyway, it was fine. This feeling came and went, and Octavia was used to it.

(Though it really would have been great if Dr. Baker had been able to squeeze her in during some other time this week, after the regular Tuesday session got cancelled.)

It was Sunday now, anyway. Food and cider and hopefully a good time? Octavia had even channeled some of her twitchiness into prepping dessert, earlier. "The fruit's all ready in the fridge," she said, as she got up to clear away the dinner plates. "The white chocolate on them should have set by now."

Spoken like she actually knew anything and hadn't just grabbed the instructions from Google this morning.

[ooc: For the guy.]

Comments

[my_own_advocate]

"They are not nothing to me," Lucifer said.

Found his exasperation snapping into actual hurt and frustration.

"I am not an almighty arbiter of humankind, Octavia, nor the judge, jury and executioner my Father tried to make of me. I am a person. There are people I find special and there are people I find disappointing, and if you are looking for some grand proclamation of human goodness where you are just another face among many, I'll direct you to Amenadiel, that sounds like much more his kink."

[okteiviakom]

Well.

Octavia tried to shove away from him.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer held on.

Letting her run off alone didn't seem like a grand idea, either.

[okteiviakom]

For some reason, Octavia hadn't expected that.

She tried again, but it lacked... something. The fervor and intent of that first attempt.

[my_own_advocate]

"Octavia, please calm down."

He hadn't let go, yet.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia objcted, with a helpless noise in her throat.

Stopped struggling, though. That second attempt had been like pressing against a wall to check it would hold, anyway.

[my_own_advocate]

"What is going on?" Lucifer asked. "This can't just be about me refusing to call you 'just another human'."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia shook her head.

"It didn't need to be about goodness," she said, voice quieter now but still a little agitated. "I wasn't asking -- the King of Hell, I was asking you, you who came back to Earth so many times over our entire history. You came here for reasons and it wasn't just to be disappointed over and over until you happened to meet me and Duke and Linda and your Detective."

A breath.

"It didn't need to be about goodness, Lucifer, but I did need to hear something good."

[my_own_advocate]

"No, I came here to have brief stretches of fun and distraction from my endless imprisonment, and while I was here, many humans came to me asking favors, and most of them were disappointing," Lucifer sighed. "Some of them were not, but I didn't particularly see the sense in listing them. How many context-free names would you need, exactly, to be satisfied?"

He was still a bit sore about the whole 'if you find most humans disappointing, then that must mean I'm worthless' bit, yes.

[okteiviakom]

So it wasn't just her hearing things in ways they weren't intended.

"Forget it," Octavia said, on a sigh that sounded just... sad. "We're not getting anywhere, and I don't want to talk about this anymore. You don't see the sense in talking to me about things I needed, so what's the point in going on?"

[my_own_advocate]

"I just don't understand what you want from me," Lucifer sighed. "To tell you not all humans I've met were terrible? I already have."

[okteiviakom]

"Somewhere in the middle of saying 'disappointing' twenty-five times," Octavia muttered.

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't always experience the best of what humanity had to offer," Lucifer said irritably. "I have met good people. Usually fleetingly, because as you might recall, I didn't usually get to be here for very long periods of time, among many other factors."

[okteiviakom]

"I already said I didn't want to keep talking about this," Octavia replied. Quiet, defeated. "You're just getting mad at me."

[my_own_advocate]

"Not talking about it is hardly going to make me less mad or you less-- whatever you seem to be feeling," Lucifer said. (He'd spent the day trying not to comment on Octavia's state of mind, as long as she was trying not to make it obvious. And then, this.) "Do you even understand why this makes me upset?"

[okteiviakom]

"I'd have an easier time getting there if I wasn't upset."

Which was a key reason for why she was trying to get out of this conversation. Everything felt too raw, so everything seemed like knives.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a loud breath.

He didn't say anything.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia didn't, either.

Something slack about her, now. As much as there could be about someone still standing on her own two feet.

At least her heartbeat had stopped thundering in her ears.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer had briefly considered letting her go. And then the slackness had set in.

So instead he just remained silent, staring at the back wall.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia needed to go through a few rounds of her breathing, again. Something needed to settle a little before she could do... anything. About anything.

In the silence of the room, the sound felt noisy to her.

[my_own_advocate]

It was loud, wasn't it? Almost painfully so.

Lucifer watched the curtains move, just slightly, with a small breeze.

[okteiviakom]

In through the nose, out through the mouth. Over and over.

And over.

Her eyes squeezed shut.

"I don't know what you're upset about," she said, finally. It sounded apologetic, more than anything. And it was quiet. "I've only been half-hearing you."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a long breath.

"I'm upset," he said finally, "because it feels as if you are treating me as any interchangeable immortal who must have some kind of definitive and objective opinion of humanity, and I am not. I am-- just me."

[okteiviakom]

"Oh," Octavia murmured. "I wasn't trying to. I was just... surprised."

Wait, no, that wasn't it.

"I was shocked," she amended. "That your experience was that bad, even outside of Hell."

[my_own_advocate]

"It wasn't bad," Lucifer murmured. "It was certainly better than Hell. I had a lot of great sex and ate incredible food and-- ah, the creative ways humanity has learned to play with alcohol. But I was also blamed for all of humanity's sins. The humans who came to me, did so because they wanted something from me. And they certainly didn't always make the best of what they received."