Lucifer's Mansion, Sunday Night

[okteiviakom]

It was Sunday night. There had been dinner: some nice takeout from some place on the mainland, followed by an even nicer dessert from some other place on the mainland. Panna cotta with fresh fruit was getting up there on Octavia's list of favorites.

But she had other favorite things, too.

And that was probably why they were already halfway up the stairs.

"Was that passionfruit on purpose?"

[ooc: For the Devil, and SP. NSFW bound, most likely.]

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[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer pressed another kiss to the top of her head. He wasn't sure what else to do or say, so he waited.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's head was heavy against his chest, and she was quiet for a long while. Her breathing evening out as she came back to herself.

"So," she muttered, eventually. "That was dumb."

She was talking about herself, even if that wasn't obvious.

[my_own_advocate]

"It wasn't," Lucifer said, his hand sliding up her back. "We are playing with some rather potent emotional scenarios here."

[okteiviakom]

"Yes it was," Octavia murmured.

Definitely not just because she was intent on beating herself up about it. Honest.

[my_own_advocate]

"Octavia," Lucifer said quietly. "You don't have to be ashamed."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia wasn't even sure what she was feeling ashamed for. But she knew the feeling was settling in her chest all the same.

"I ruined this."

Well, that was more quiet and soft, at least?

[my_own_advocate]

"You can't ruin this," Lucifer said. He nuzzled her cheek. "This is us. It is you, and it is me, and our mad, incredible attempts to come together in ways that mean something."

He kissed her temple.

"And sometimes meaningful things are painful," he murmured. "And sometimes they don't succeed. But you are still here, in my arms. That is all that matters."

[okteiviakom]

Well.

Even the twisting mass of Octavia's guilt couldn't actually argue with that, so she said nothing.

Just... leaned against him just that little bit more. Sagging, really.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer reached up, and... ran his fingers through her hair. Trying to soothe, moving his head so she could curl up under his chin. "Are you all right?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia ducked her head under his chin almost immediately. Sighed, softly.

"Can you take the scarf off?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Of course," Lucifer said, his fingers finding the knot and working it loose.

He dropped it to the bed.

[okteiviakom]

And Octavia's hair was down against her shoulders again, the way she was used to. It shouldn't have felt as comforting as it did.

She made a small noise. Maybe to say thanks?

[my_own_advocate]

"Of course," Lucifer said softly.

He kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much."

[okteiviakom]

"I love you, too."

These freakouts didn't change that, at least.

[my_own_advocate]

"Do you know what just happened?" Lucifer asked softly.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's shrug was vague, but she tried to answer anyway.

"Just... lost all my words."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer nodded.

"Was it the scarf?"

[okteiviakom]

"No," Octavia murmured, with a tiny, slow shake of her head. "I don't think so."

That would've been way too simple.

"I don't think it was any one thing."

[my_own_advocate]

"I see," Lucifer said. He fell silent, not wanting to badger her.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia didn't feel badgered so far, at least. She would rather figure this out to keep it from happening again.

Not that she had a good idea for even where to start. "I don't know," she muttered, after a moment. "Maybe you were too nice."

[my_own_advocate]

"I should have stayed rougher?" Lucifer asked, softly.

[okteiviakom]

"Maybe."

And that --

"That feels wrong to say."

[my_own_advocate]

"This isn't about what's wrong or right," Lucifer murmured. "It's, quite literally, about what you desire."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia swallowed. "Then maybe you should have stayed rougher," she murmured, looping back to agreeing with that. "I wasn't..."

She trailed off, trying to catch a thought almost in her grasp, to put it to words.

"It's like I wasn't ready to make choices for myself."

[my_own_advocate]

"I'm sorry," Lucifer murmured. He kissed her forehead. "I'll remember that."