The Cape Rouge, Monday... Noon? Ish?

[okteiviakom]

"I think my spring is coming, Octavia. And I can't wait to see what it's like."

There had been no surprise in how hard it had been to say goodbye. Ilian had been impossibly calm and steady, and Octavia had just done her best to keep it together. Be brave, like he'd wanted her to be. Nou fir wamplei in, em bilaik stoda kom nes soujon noumou. Easy for him to say when he'd already done it, when she was the one left to mourn him all over again.

(That last glimmer of someone seeing something human in her before the bunker, The Dark Year, the valley. The last time in six years before the multiverse saw fit to yank whatever had been left of her back to Fandom, to put herself back together again.)

"If you want to honor me, maybe you should plant something. Grow something."

How was she supposed to do that, Ilian?

Everything hurt again.

And Octavia was finding it very hard to even get out of bed. In fact, she hadn't, yet. Just kept laying there, either staring at the ceiling or the line of already slightly smudged dots along the inside of her forearm. Ilian had drawn them with a marker, explaining to her about the tattoos of his clan. Just another thing she'd never had time to learn before.

She knew this had all been a gift.

But right now it was a little hard to ignore how much it also felt like having been stabbed in the gut again.

[ooc: Open for thems that live here, should they so wish.]

Comments

[okteiviakom]

"You don't have to be silent," Octavia muttered. She knew how he was. "Just don't expect me to talk."

She might. She might not.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a soft huff. "I don't have that much to contribute," he said. "I went for a walk this morning. It was nice. The forest looks... very foresty."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia gave a vague hum.

Normally she would've perked up at the mention of the woods, but... It just wasn't there right now.

[my_own_advocate]

"Which made me think of you and then I went right back to being worried."

[okteiviakom]

"Don't need to worry."

Delivering that as anything other than a flat mutter might have helped.

[my_own_advocate]

"You're not exactly making your point well, darling."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm tired."

She would have shrugged if she'd had the energy.

[my_own_advocate]

"So sleep," Lucifer murmured.

[okteiviakom]

"Already did that."

[my_own_advocate]

"There's no shame in doing more of it."

[okteiviakom]

"And?"

As if Octavia had it in her to be feeling any shame right now to begin with.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer shrugged, an idle gesture against her. "Merely noting it."

[okteiviakom]

"Right," Octavia sighed.

[my_own_advocate]

Tentatively, Lucifer leaned in to brush a kiss against her cheek.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia let him.

Just breathing. (Surviving.)

[my_own_advocate]

"I love you," Lucifer whispered, because it always bore saying.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia breathed in.

Great, something was stinging under her eyelids again.

[my_own_advocate]

And Lucifer fell quiet.

He really did not have all that much to say.

[okteiviakom]

And Octavia...

Well, now Octavia was fighting back the urge to cry. She'd already done enough of it - particularly last night, coming back, when she'd all but collapsed into an inconsolable mess.

More than anything, she felt annoyed at the urge now. It didn't do anything, crying.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's arm eventually tightened around her a touch.

He felt helpless. And like this was the best he could do.

[okteiviakom]

It probably was.

Even if it made Octavia's shudder a little more obvious.

[my_own_advocate]

"Octavia?" Lucifer asked quietly.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia inhaled sharply through her nose. Exhaled through the mouth.

Something angry about it. (Trying to keep it together.)

[my_own_advocate]

"Right, sorry for asking," Lucifer muttered.

[okteiviakom]

It was not directed at him, but how was he to know that? And Octavia could have explained, but she was stuck trying to control the trembling of her bottom lip.

It had started up without her permission.