The Cape Rouge, Monday... Noon? Ish?

[okteiviakom]

"I think my spring is coming, Octavia. And I can't wait to see what it's like."

There had been no surprise in how hard it had been to say goodbye. Ilian had been impossibly calm and steady, and Octavia had just done her best to keep it together. Be brave, like he'd wanted her to be. Nou fir wamplei in, em bilaik stoda kom nes soujon noumou. Easy for him to say when he'd already done it, when she was the one left to mourn him all over again.

(That last glimmer of someone seeing something human in her before the bunker, The Dark Year, the valley. The last time in six years before the multiverse saw fit to yank whatever had been left of her back to Fandom, to put herself back together again.)

"If you want to honor me, maybe you should plant something. Grow something."

How was she supposed to do that, Ilian?

Everything hurt again.

And Octavia was finding it very hard to even get out of bed. In fact, she hadn't, yet. Just kept laying there, either staring at the ceiling or the line of already slightly smudged dots along the inside of her forearm. Ilian had drawn them with a marker, explaining to her about the tattoos of his clan. Just another thing she'd never had time to learn before.

She knew this had all been a gift.

But right now it was a little hard to ignore how much it also felt like having been stabbed in the gut again.

[ooc: Open for thems that live here, should they so wish.]

Comments

[okteiviakom]

There was (rare though it was) no real right or wrong way about it. Octavia was in her own bubble either way. Yes, even with him right here with her.

There was no discernible reaction.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a deep sigh. He fought off the urge to say 'right' again.

[okteiviakom]

Smart Devil.

Anyway, at least she was curling into him a little more. Whether it was instinct or something else.

[my_own_advocate]

Progress. But of the sort that left Lucifer terrified of moving and upsetting her, somehow.

[okteiviakom]

There wasn't much he could do that would cause worse than a complete lack of reaction.

A few of her breaths sounded a little more controlled, now.

[my_own_advocate]

"Better?" Lucifer asked quietly.

[okteiviakom]

It was an absurd question.

Octavia squeeezed her eyes shut so, so tight and focused on a few more deeper breaths. "Trying."

It was an absurd answer, too.

[my_own_advocate]

"All right," Lucifer murmured. "It's all right."

[okteiviakom]

"It's not," Octavia tried, but... Uselessly.

[my_own_advocate]

"You just had two days with someone you cared for very much, and now they're over," Lucifer said. "I understand. But the crying bit, that's all right."

[okteiviakom]

"It's not," Octavia muttered, her voice still heavy and a little off from her stuffy nose. "It's... pointless."

Because just laying in bed all day wasn't?

[my_own_advocate]

"It's clearing out emotional debris," Lucifer said.

Well, that was what Linda said.

[okteiviakom]

"Is that what Linda says?"

Hey.

[my_own_advocate]

"I thought the metaphor was apt."

[okteiviakom]

"Mh."

It probably was, but Octavia was too in it to really see that. Too busy being a sad and tired lump.

[my_own_advocate]

"So you're just clearing it out," Lucifer repeated, "You'll be okay once you're done shoveling."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia just curled into him more.

"Have I ever been okay?" she muttered.

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes," Lucifer said.

He kissed her hair.

[okteiviakom]

"I don't believe you."

This depressed thing was now what passed for banter.

[my_own_advocate]

"Darling, if there's anything I've learned, it's that 'being okay' doesn't mean having no trouble at all," Lucifer murmured. "It means being able to get up in the morning, and finding ways to be happy. And you have been happy here. I've seen it."

[okteiviakom]

A new round of stinging in her eyes.

Yu gada os sonraun in, hir, Okteivia.

"Yeah," she murmured, quieter, "he said that too."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's mouth quirked in a wry little smile. "He may have had a point about more than just the quality of my coffee."

[okteiviakom]

"He really did like your coffee," Octavia murmured, noticeably more quietly.

[my_own_advocate]

"One mark in his favor," Lucifer allowed.

[okteiviakom]

"Are there ones against?"