Lux, Los Angeles, Friday Morning

[okteiviakom]

Tonight, Lux was going to be packed and loud again, but this early on a Friday morning, the club wasn't only quiet but deserted. Which made it the perfect place for Octavia to sneak down to for her therapy. In previous weeks, she'd usually just gone out on Lucifer's balcony and kept her voice down for these Friday sessions that happened before neither Duke nor Lucifer tended to even be up yet, but this week...

This had seemed more right. Taking over the empty club, sitting at the grand piano with her phone.

Not that that had made her feel like she could be much more open with her therapist than she had in the last couple of weeks. Until this trip, she hadn't felt much reason to censor what she told Dr. Baker, but there was something about having to talk about God messing up your relationship that she didn't entirely want to get into. Not quite at that level, anyway.

In the end, in this particular session, she largely just ended up venting about love (sometimes it just feels like putting a name on things just makes it more complicated) and rejection (I swear he asked me that ten years ago, and now I'm right back here again) and loss (just feels like something's ending, and I should be able to stop it, but he just keeps looking at me like--).

And once her hour was up, she... stayed where she was. Closed the video chat app, opened a browser.

Looked up Portalocity.

Looked at portals to Fandom.

And wished for a vacation.

[ooc: Open for texts, calls, and those that are here if they so wish.]

Comments

[betterthanaplan]

“Ah. Yeah, I got some of that, too.” Duke sighed, settling against her. “I think we can get through this, though. If we’re patient. And persistent.”

[okteiviakom]

There was more comfort in all the places where his body pressed against Octavia's that she wouldn't even have been able to put it into words.

Which was perhaps a lesson she needed to re-learn.

"I just..." She trailed off, sighing. "It just hurts, Duke."

[betterthanaplan]

“I know.” Duke gave her a little squeeze. “But sometimes the pain is worth it.”

[okteiviakom]

Octavia tried to cover his arms around her waist with own.

What it really amounted to was hugging herself.

"Even what he's feeling?"

[betterthanaplan]

“If he comes out the other side realizing he loves us?”

Duke would happily help her hug herself.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's voice got quieter.

"What if he doesn't?"

Maybe she just needed to vent some of the doom circling around in her system. The things she couldn't say with Lucifer present.

[betterthanaplan]

“Then. . . . At least we’ll still have each other.”

The ‘that would suck’ was unspoken, but clear in his tone.

[okteiviakom]

Crystal.

Octavia's eyes were closing again, the brows above them dipping down more with a kind of sadness than anything else.

"Do you think... he'd actually leave us over this?"

[betterthanaplan]

“He hasn’t yet. Just — made a half-assed effort to make us leave him instead.”

[okteiviakom]

With her eyes still closed, Octavia turned her face a little more towards him. "If I went to Fandom for a few days, would that count as leaving?"

She was asking a lot of questions, right now. She barely noticed.

[betterthanaplan]

“I don’t know.” Duke sighed. “It might.”

[okteiviakom]

"I don't think I'd like it if you did it," Octavia admitted quietly.

She wished that had been enough for a part of her to stop wanting to.

[betterthanaplan]

“Yeah, I know.” Duke kissed her temple. “I’m kinda hoping he doesn’t notice that the boat’s an escape hatch.”

[okteiviakom]

Octavia exhaled a quiet sigh.

"Do that again?" she requested softly. Meaning the little kiss at her temple.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke obliged her, letting his lips linger this time.

[okteiviakom]

"Mochof," Octavia murmured. There was something reverent about it, like she was soaking up the contact.

Another bit of connection.

(She wasn't sitting in Lucifer's spot by accident, either, as much as she would have liked to think so. All of Lux for her to choose from, and she chose the piano.)

"I think Lucifer knows," she continued, after a pause, "that you can only go so long without a boat."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke made a little huffing sound against her temple, and didn’t pull away before he spoke.

“Yeah,” he said. “But does he know that’s because I need escape routes?”

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's hand curved around his arm. As if that would keep him right where he was, his nose buried in her hair.

"Em bilaik floudon, jaka," she murmured. "I'm pretty sure he can figure that much out."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke gave another sigh.

“You have portals. I have boats. He has. . . . Wings. I guess we all need escape routes sometimes.”

[okteiviakom]

"I could do with a boat, too," Octavia admitted, quietly.

Even if her reasons were different.

[betterthanaplan]

“I could find you one. Or maybe Summer could portal the Samsara over for you.”

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's shrug was tiny, in kind of a careful way. She really didn't want to jostle him away from her right now.

"I just miss having my own space, I guess."

[betterthanaplan]

“I get that,” Duke said. “It’s your . . . sanctuary.”

[okteiviakom]

"Yeah," Octavia sighed. Her eyes opened again, finally. She looked towards the ceiling. "And this whole place -- this entire building, it's all Lucifer."

And usually, she loved that.

[betterthanaplan]

“And everyone needs space that’s all their own.”