The Cape Rouge, Port of Fandom, Waaaaay Early Friday Morning

[okteiviakom]

The bob and sway of the Cape Rouge was not the same as the engine thrum of the Ark. But it was similar enough that sometimes there could be something almost soothing about it to a space station baby, like Octavia.

But not tonight.

She feels the vibrations of the Ark through the walls around her. Up in the room, they're much less pronounced, they're just something under your feet, a casual sensation you can feel and dismiss at the same time. But she's not up in the room.

She's down in the hole.

She's under the floor.

She's in a box, and the room above her is nothing but footsteps and muffled voices. Everything else is darkness. She's in a box she can't see, under a room she can only hear, and so all she can do is listen. She can't hear Bellamy up there, but she can hear her mother, the sound of needles and the fabric of strangers' clothes -- but then, the thumping of boots, and it's an inspection, it's always an inspection, a man's voice barking about everything the inspectors always bark about until her mother soothes it over, hushed, quick, she sounds like she's smiling --

I don't have any money.

Her voice is like velvet and burrows into Octavia's ears.

But I can pay you another way.

It's a promise shaped like a body and it feels like sirens and Octavia screams but she can still hear them like they're speaking into her head, like they're in her head, like they're in the box with her.

What about the girl?

Her, too.

And Octavia screams again and kicks her foot out because she has to get away, now now now -- but instead of breaking, the walls of the box around her start sliding closer, the hole around her starts getting smaller, and it feels like she's sinking, right into the ground or space or whatever is underneath a hole underneath a room, and it doesn't matter where she's sinking to because she won't even make it there, because the walls are closing in on her, she's in the hole and the hole is going to crush her.

The hole is going to crush her, and she can't breathe.

She can't breathe.

SHE CAN'T BREATHE.

That was what Octavia woke up to, in the middle of the night, just -- gasping for breath, immediately scrambling up to sitting, trying to desperately force air into her lungs. Her wide eyes stared wildly into the darkness of the room, not really seeing it. Still half dreaming.

Still half back on the Ark.

... Sorry, Duke.

[ooc: For the jaka who has to deal with this mess now. Content warning for (nightmare) allusions to prostitution and child abuse, with general dark backstory stuff to likely follow in the comments.]

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[okteiviakom]

"She really does," Octavia agreed, and dropped a kiss against his shoulder (as far up it as she could reach, anyway). Look at her, remembering how to touch him again! Might've been the brandy. Or a need to compensate for her earlier panic with softness.

Or both.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke wasn’t complaining. Her shutting down like that, face wet with tears. . . . That would probably feature in some of his nightmares, down the line.

The milk began to steam and Duke switched off the burner, whisking in the cocoa. He filled both mugs, leaving room for spiking as needed. Then he toluene in her grip to give her a proper, if somewhat gentle, kiss.

[okteiviakom]

Gentle was just fine. Octavia's hand came up to cup his cheek like she was asking him to linger in the kiss for a moment. Because that was what she wanted, a moment to balance out the very first one after she'd woken up, struggling to breathe and unsure of where she was.

Her heart beat steadily right now, and she knew where she was. She was right here, on the Cape Rouge, kissing her flapkrasha, her jaka, her Duke kom Floukru.

That urge from earlier was also finally starting to take form, in the back of her mind.

[betterthanaplan]

And Duke would happily linger as long as she liked. Even if it meant having to reheat that cocoa. Because she was back, steady and present again, and he wanted to drink that up as long as possible.

[okteiviakom]

It wasn't going to be long enough for the cocoa to need reheating. But maybe just long enough for it to cool down to a nice drinking temperature? Because Octavia was kind of clinging to him, and maybe got -- well, not less gentle, as such. But a little more insistent for a while there, with the kiss.

And when she finally broke it, she whispered, "Thank you."

Not for the kiss.

[betterthanaplan]

"Sha, gona," Duke said, just as soft. "Yumi throu daun ogeda. Even against dreams."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia nodded. Quite a few times, actually, kind of buying time for how the words seem to get caught in her throat for a second, there.

"Yumi throu daun ogeda," she murmured back to him, once she could. Then cleared her throat. Wet her lips with her tongue. "Okay. Cocoa, and... Then there's something I think I have to do."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke reached for the cocoa mugs, keeping hold of her with his other hand as he did. "Of course. Whatever you need."

He didn't even feel weird about promising that and meaning it. Whatever it was she needed, he'd make sure she could do it, and he wasn't even worried it would somehow suck for him.

He trusted her. Holy shit.

[okteiviakom]

It had been about three months since Octavia had first told him they fought together. That was the headstart she'd had, but it was nice that he was catching up.

(It was more than nice, actually.)

Octavia reached for one of the mugs. "You're gonna want to put a little more on." Because yes, they were going back out. "Not that I don't like seeing you like this."

[betterthanaplan]

Trusting people was extremely hard for him, okay? It had a really annoying tendency to bite him in the ass, sooner rather than later.

"It's just not as pretty when it's frost-bit," Duke said easily. "I'll grab our coats. Unless you'd rather stick with the blanket?"

She was going to have to put her boots on at least, though.

[okteiviakom]

That one porg was still occasionally shaking its tiny feet. Octavia was not going to skip putting her boots on, this time.

"I'm okay with the blanket," she said. "We're not staying long."

Also the blanket appealed to a part of her that may have been the remnants of her childhood, and that kind of comfort was welcome right now.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke doctored his cocoa with the brandy -- he didn't feel like hunting down the scotch right now -- and offered her the bottle. "Closet's just right over there," he said, pointing towards the bedroom. "I'll be right back."

[okteiviakom]

"I know," Octavia replied softly, with a nod.

She still kind of had to squeeze his hand before she took the bottle, though.

[betterthanaplan]

That was fine, he squeezed hers right back.

And then went to go pretty much literally throw some warmer clothes on, hopping his way into his boots even as he came back with her own.

He wasn't big on leaving her alone right now, either.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia noticed, and was grateful, even though she was much steadier on her feet now than she had been earlier about being alone.

Even if she found herself a little unusually aware of the walls around her as soon as she was alone. But she put her focus into pouring some brandy in her mug, and then he was already back, and she was reaching for her boots.

"My dream put me back under the floor," she said, remarkably casual. (Because she had to be.) "I need to -- reset that."

[betterthanaplan]

"Kinda figured," Duke admitted. "That's why I brought you outside in the first place."

[okteiviakom]

"Good," Octavia replied. There was a fair bit of warmth in the look she gave him as she dropped her boots on the floor and stepped into them, not bothering to lace them up properly.

She led the way outside, this time.

[betterthanaplan]

And Duke was right behind, sipping his cocoa and wondering what counted as a reset for her after being brought back "under the floor".

[okteiviakom]

Once on the deck, Octavia made her way over to the side facing open water, and took a moment to take a few sips from her mug and just watch the water, and to feel the cool night air on her face, a welcome reminder once more of not being trapped anywhere.

But then she leaned against the gunwale with her free hand, took a big, deep breath --

And screamed, as loud as she possibly could, "I'M STILL HERE!"

So, what counted as a reset was what she'd done the first time she'd been freed.

... Also, sorry, Lucy.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke choked a little on his cocoa, though really, he should maybe have predicted this.

He'd just never heard her be that loud before.

"That," he said, "was beautiful."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia still hated that she'd woken up like she had, and hated that she'd dragged him into it all with her. But there was something about being here with him, the two of them awake while the town was sleeping and quiet all around them that made it feel like they were in their own private universe, and she was free to just... be.

She'd go back to being more reserved and stoic in the morning.

Octavia kept her eyes on the horizon for a few deep breaths before turning around to face him. "First thing I did on the Ground," she said. She'd told him before, in passing, and he'd rightfully asked whether she actually meant screaming or just speaking a little louder than usual. This probably settled that.

She shrugged. "Reset."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke nodded and sipped his cocoa. "Reset."

A porg jumped up onto the gunwale next to her and bellowed its little porg heart out.

"And that'll be fun too."

[okteiviakom]

"Hosh op, strikon," Octavia told the bird, after a beat. (And a snort.) "You're gonna wake everyone up."