The Cape Rouge, Tuesday... Noon?

[okteiviakom]

Right, to recap: Octavia's weekend had been replaced by one very long day. On Sunday, she and Duke had landed back in Fandom, and she'd failed to sleep much during the night, leading to her then passing out for most of the day, instead. And then she'd gone out to the Nest, gotten drunk, come back to the boat, and failed to fall asleep properly again until it had already been close to Tuesday morning.

And now that she had finally woken up again, she had no concept of what time it was, anymore.

But she knew her head hurt, and she felt nauseous and a little jittery. All of which felt like... oddly grounding things, after the past couple of days. Maybe it was the way her body finally felt fully as awful as the rest of her already had.

Anyway, she was keeping a close proximity to walls as she made her way out of the bedroom, finally, and towards the galley. Just in case she needed the support.

[ooc: Open!]

Comments

[okteiviakom]

"I'm already late to my Tuesday, anyway," Octavia muttered, trying to rest her head against his shoulder.

She'd get to the eating in a moment.

"I think."

[my_own_advocate]

"Seems like a poor week to have a genuine Tuesday in," Lucifer said.

After a moment, he moved his head just so, so she would have her space to rest against.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia gave a very small hum of agreement, and leaned a little further against him.

With every part.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer slid his arm out of hers and wrapped it around her shoulders instead.

[okteiviakom]

There was just a little bit of alarm in Octavia's posture for a second, but then she got what he was actually doing.

And settled into it even heavier.

Hopefully this was doing something to dispel the idea she hated him.

[my_own_advocate]

There was finally a sense of relief in Lucifer's body. A... relaxing.

"Are we all right now?" he asked softly.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia took a slow, deep breath.

And let it out.

And whispered, "No." And then, "But it's not because of you. It was never because of you."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer looked down at her plate. "Then why?"

[okteiviakom]

Somehow, Octavia's voice managed to go even smaller.

"Because of what I didn't do."

[my_own_advocate]

What she didn't do? The confusion was clear on Lucifer's face. "What does that mean?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia wasn't looking anywhere near his face, but it was plain enough in his voice, too.

"I couldn't keep him safe. I couldn't -- save him."

From all of it. Any of it.

[my_own_advocate]

There was-- a bit of a pause, there. As Lucifer thought about Sunday. As Lucifer thought about arguing with Duke on Sunday.

"Sometimes with Duke, I think," he said slowly, "That you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved."

[okteiviakom]

"I tried to change his mind."

And by now she wished she'd forced it.

"It should've been me."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's response was as sharp as it was immediate. "Absolutely not," he said. "It is not your job to destroy yourself just because he refuses to stop destroying himself."

[okteiviakom]

It startled Octavia into getting her head off his shoulder.

Though enough not to still say (even if it was in a mutter), "Parts he's destroying now I've already destroyed in myself."

[my_own_advocate]

"Incorrect," Lucifer said, with an especially certain confidence. "You have been rebuilding yourself, Octavia. Nor do you have remaining ties to places that want to draw you further into the darkness. You are living for tomorrow. He is not. And as someone who will be here the tomorrow after tomorrow, I would very much prefer you don't sacrifice that on the altar of Duke's fatalism."

[okteiviakom]

That should have felt like absolution.

It just felt like he wasn't getting it.

And Octavia was staring at nothing again.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "What is it?" he said. "Do you want me to flagellate you over this?"

[okteiviakom]

Do you need to hear that you failed and you're terrible because you won't get that from the other two? came floating back to her as if through a fog.

She drew a deep breath.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer raised his eyebrows, looking at her.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia picked up her glass of water.

She didn't have an answer for him. But she looked... terrified, somehow.

[my_own_advocate]

"Octavia, if you've failed Duke, then so have I," Lucifer said, after another moment. It was clear there was no answer forthcoming from her. "Since I can't get it through his dense skull that he should have acted otherwise. Short of locking him up every time Haven comes 'round the corner, after which he'll probably refuse to speak to us, there's very little we can do."

[okteiviakom]

"I failed you," Octavia said, somewhere in the middle of that. Barely more than a breath, against the edge of the glass she wasn't actually taking a sip from. "You, Lucifer."

[my_own_advocate]

"No," Lucifer said. "He failed us."

Oh, he thought. He was still angry after all.

[okteiviakom]

That was one way to get Octavia to actually look at him. The terrified note was still there, but now there was confusion, too.

"What?" she asked, weakly.