To the Cape Rouge, Sunday

[okteiviakom]

Jennifer had taken off for Baltimore. If anyone had asked Octavia about the why and how, maybe even the when of it, she wouldn't have been able to say. Something in her had shut down at the sight of the island, the knowledge that they were no longer in Haven, and she only had one single shred of focus left, and one single goal to go with it:

Just herding Duke across the island, to the port, to the Rouge, to deliver him to Lucifer.

She hadn't said a word the entire way over.

But when they finally stepped onto the dock, with the ship just up ahead, she was almost running.

[ooc: For the two! Follows this.]

Comments

[betterthanaplan]

"Some . . . stitching thing," Duke said. He felt like he was in confession. "I think it's triggered by denial." Hence his sudden embracing of Lucifer's theory of ruthless honesty. "And -- I'm pretty sure I sucked the life out of a Haven beach earlier to bring Jennifer back from the dead."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's hand slid up to his forehead. He gave himself another... one. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds.

He dropped it.

"Right," he said. "Well, you're not leaving my sight for the next while."

[betterthanaplan]

Something in Duke deflated. He let out a laugh that was at least half-sob.

"Not going to complain. Just -- I think Tavi needs you, too."

And even Lucifer couldn't be in two separate places at the same time.

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, then we'll just all need to stay reasonably close, won't we?" Lucifer said.

He took another moment to push down the last vestiges of his temper.

"You noble, self-sacrificing idiot," he said. "Come here."

And he'd try to tug Duke back into his arms.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke crumpled into him. There was that heat behind his eyes again. He really hoped it was tears.

"Octavia tried to volunteer," he said into Lucifer's shoulder. "I wouldn't let her. I thought -- Luce, anything would've been better than that."

[my_own_advocate]

"Why was any of this even on the table to begin with?" Lucifer asked, quieter, his arms hugging Duke tight.

[betterthanaplan]

"Gloria's grandson. That fucker William, he set the kid's trouble off early. Every time he cried, a handful of people would just. Drop dead." Duke hung on tight in return. "Kid's not more than a year old, Luce. And he has a body count. His dad -- Ben volunteered. How could I -- he was willing to die to save that kid, how could I do anything less?"

Whatever had been behind his eyes was sliding down his face now. Getting cold, not vanishing.

Tears. They were just tears.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. He pressed his face into Duke's neck. "You won't like what I have to say to that," he murmured.

Giving Duke a chance to opt out of further-- not scolding, but something.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke held still, save for the uncontrollable shudders that were running through his chest.

He wouldn't, no. But he'd probably deserve it.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer chewed on it a moment longer.

Then: "Sometimes children die."

[betterthanaplan]

Oh. Yeah, Duke really didn't like that.

He jerked upright, staring at Lucifer.

"You think we should have killed the kid."

[my_own_advocate]

"Can you look at the ramifications of what's happened and tell me you shouldn't have?" Lucifer asked, lifting an eyebrow. "One man is dead, your life is potentially ruined, and you're now a vat of potentially life-ruining, life-ending curses."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke really wanted to deny that.

Even more, though, he had no desire to see what would happen if the stitching trouble met a celestial.

"I couldn't have done it. And I wouldn't ask anyone else to either. There's a difference between 'children die' and 'kill the baby'."

[my_own_advocate]

"I can assure you your species had different ideas about that just a few centuries ago," Lucifer said. "And I am not saying this with any amount of glee; I would also not hurt a child under-- almost-- any circumstance."

He studied Duke's face.

"Even if you hadn't gotten all of this-- extra baggage along with it, I believe previous experience has shown us that making that choice condemns you to being maneuvered into situations where you have to murder people," he said. "How many adult lives are worth one infant?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke squeezed his eyes shut.

"I don't want to be the kind of person who does that math."

But he had. He'd done it this weekend. And he'd done it last time, when Audrey had maneuvered him to kill Harry Nix.

[my_own_advocate]

"You could've stopped being one this weekend. Instead you chose to continue on that path."

[betterthanaplan]

"No," Duke said sharply. "I couldn't. Even if I'd decided something else, I still would've been doing that math. I chose the one I could live with."

[my_own_advocate]

"It would have likely been the last time you'd have to do the math, Duke, that's my point," Lucifer said, quieter. "Because it relies on you having your trouble."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shook his head. (Once he started, he found it hard to stop.) "I chose," he said again, slow and soft, "what I could live with, Luce."

He'd spent too much time recently too close to that edge to pretend it wasn't there.

[my_own_advocate]

"You chose what you could live with today," Lucifer said. He just-- he wasn't sure how to get this through to Duke, nor did he know when he had become the person advocating for a long-term view in anything. "I'm worried about whether you'll be able to live with it tomorrow. Or the day after."

[betterthanaplan]

"Then I'll deal with it tomorrow or the day after," Duke said, pleading with his eyes for Lucifer to understand. "Because I'll be here to do that."

[my_own_advocate]

"Until you're not."

Those words just... slipped out.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke let out a slow breath, then looked away.

"Sometimes people die, Luce."

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes, but they don't all run towards it with such earnest abandon," Lucifer said. Watching his face. "If I had any sense I would dump you before it got that far, but unfortunately you've completely ruined my own math in that regard."

[betterthanaplan]

Another long silence. As Duke fought not to say that maybe Lucifer should leave, then.

“I made the choice that didn’t make me want to die right now,” he said finally. “That’s all I’ve got.”