To the Cape Rouge, Sunday

[okteiviakom]

Jennifer had taken off for Baltimore. If anyone had asked Octavia about the why and how, maybe even the when of it, she wouldn't have been able to say. Something in her had shut down at the sight of the island, the knowledge that they were no longer in Haven, and she only had one single shred of focus left, and one single goal to go with it:

Just herding Duke across the island, to the port, to the Rouge, to deliver him to Lucifer.

She hadn't said a word the entire way over.

But when they finally stepped onto the dock, with the ship just up ahead, she was almost running.

[ooc: For the two! Follows this.]

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[betterthanaplan]

Duke squeezed his eyes shut.

"I don't want to be the kind of person who does that math."

But he had. He'd done it this weekend. And he'd done it last time, when Audrey had maneuvered him to kill Harry Nix.

[my_own_advocate]

"You could've stopped being one this weekend. Instead you chose to continue on that path."

[betterthanaplan]

"No," Duke said sharply. "I couldn't. Even if I'd decided something else, I still would've been doing that math. I chose the one I could live with."

[my_own_advocate]

"It would have likely been the last time you'd have to do the math, Duke, that's my point," Lucifer said, quieter. "Because it relies on you having your trouble."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shook his head. (Once he started, he found it hard to stop.) "I chose," he said again, slow and soft, "what I could live with, Luce."

He'd spent too much time recently too close to that edge to pretend it wasn't there.

[my_own_advocate]

"You chose what you could live with today," Lucifer said. He just-- he wasn't sure how to get this through to Duke, nor did he know when he had become the person advocating for a long-term view in anything. "I'm worried about whether you'll be able to live with it tomorrow. Or the day after."

[betterthanaplan]

"Then I'll deal with it tomorrow or the day after," Duke said, pleading with his eyes for Lucifer to understand. "Because I'll be here to do that."

[my_own_advocate]

"Until you're not."

Those words just... slipped out.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke let out a slow breath, then looked away.

"Sometimes people die, Luce."

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes, but they don't all run towards it with such earnest abandon," Lucifer said. Watching his face. "If I had any sense I would dump you before it got that far, but unfortunately you've completely ruined my own math in that regard."

[betterthanaplan]

Another long silence. As Duke fought not to say that maybe Lucifer should leave, then.

“I made the choice that didn’t make me want to die right now,” he said finally. “That’s all I’ve got.”

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. A silence of his own, albeit shorter, on his end. He had no intention of leaving, after all.

"Well, what's done is done, I suppose," he said (the problem, then, would be what Duke would do in the future, if he kept thinking this way, if he just kept--).

[betterthanaplan]

At least he wouldn’t already be dead, then.

And when you were alive, there was always hope for change.

Duke nodded and sighed. And remembered: “I was going to eat a banana.”

Where’d he put it?

[my_own_advocate]

"It's on the counter," Lucifer said. He glanced towards the bedroom.

"We should go to check on Octavia," he said.

[betterthanaplan]

"Yeah." Duke picked up his banana and found Octavia's as well. "This . . . might've been even harder on her than it was on me."

He'd at least been an active participant. He'd had choices.

[my_own_advocate]

"We'll see, I suppose," Lucifer said.

He was already heading down the hall, to go find her.

[okteiviakom]

All of the clothes Octavia had been wearing were strewn on the floor between the door and the bed. Octavia herself was in bed on her side, wrapped up in blankets, one ear smushed in a pillow and trying to keep the other one covered with her arm. Facing away from the door, of course.

This was what happened when you couldn't decide whether you wanted to scream or cry or throw up.

And you did know you wanted everyone to just shut up.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke set her banana down on the nightstand nearest to her and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. He reached out to rest a hand on her hip.

“It’s okay. He’s done yelling at me now.”

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed, worried, and sank to his knees before her. "Niron?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia had heard them coming, and had felt the bed dip, and was still faintly startled by the touch.

Not that any of what they did did much. She just curled up even further into a ball, her eyes shut tight.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke swallowed and closed his eyes. He rubbed a small circle on her hip. He had no idea what else to do.

[my_own_advocate]

"Octavia," Lucifer tried, reaching up to touch her face. "Darling, please."

[okteiviakom]

Well, since Octavia couldn't see it coming, she was really startled this time, flinching backwards, eyes flying open.

"Don't," out of her mouth.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke let out a soft hiss, his hand stilling on her hip, and shot Lucifer a worried look.

[my_own_advocate]

And Lucifer-- retreated with hands held up and eyes wide. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry."