The Cape Rouge, Thursday Evening

[okteiviakom]

At least things on the boat had settled down in all their post-trauma enough that Octavia no longer felt like going out into the preserve would be seen as a slight against someone, or fleeing, or something else like that. But of course, now that she'd used most of her Thursday on finally getting some preserve time in, it felt like she'd maybe overdone it, because when she got back to the ship she felt exhausted. Maybe it was all the target practice, or the walking around afterwards, or --

Or just the underlying exhaustion of having been through some rough times, recently? But no. Definitely one of those other things, not that.

Anyway, she'd gotten back, and changed into some comfier clothes (fully aware that she could probably also have used a shower), and then just sort of... slumped onto the bed. She'd get up in a moment, honest. Aaany time now.

Any time.

[ooc: Open for those that live here, and no of course this level of tired isn't method RP. Of course not.]

Comments

[okteiviakom]

Octavia exhaled something soft.

(Look, she'd been looking for something a little like this when he'd left her with her hand hanging in the air.)

(A little like what he was looking for right now, too.)

"No?" she murmured. "I don't know. It was never about being impressed. It was about... you wanting to make an effort. That mattered to me."

[my_own_advocate]

"It's a bit like her being impressed," Lucifer added softly, his hand sliding up Duke's back, to toy a little bit with the back of his ponytail. "But better. And more her."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke huffed at Lucifer's description. He turned his head, keeping in contact with Octavia even as he looked over at Lucifer.

"She is remarkably hard to impress."

[okteiviakom]

"I don't need to be impressed."

Oh, did that come out a little firmer than anything she'd been saying in the past while? Maybe faintly exasperated, too?

Still just as tired, though.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer made an amused noise.

"Duke," he said, "She still lights up like the sun when she talks about you a great deal of the time. I think you can stop fretting about whether or not you 'impress' her."

[betterthanaplan]

"I'm not fretting," Duke said. (He was absolutely fretting. Especially now that she'd put so much emphasis on the word 'need'.) He picked his head up to look at Octavia, setting down his food so he could brush her hair back from her face. "What do you need, then?"

He was assuming that he was falling short on whatever it was, yes.

[okteiviakom]

And here Octavia was just annoyed at how the whole concept of framing his learning Trig as him trying to impress her seemed to cheapen everything that had actually happened.

"I need to be seen," she said, instead of all of that. "That's all I need. And that's what you gave me. And I wasn't impressed, I was -- in love."

Because he'd come along into her life, and made her laugh, and made an effort to learn some of her language after he'd seen her react to it the first time.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's arm slid more firmly around Duke, and he shuffled a touch closer, moving take-out boxes out of the way. "Very noticably so, to those of us not living in your head."

[betterthanaplan]

“Yeah,” Duke agreed with a little laugh. “I’m a little slow on that front.” He looked Octavia in the eye. “I did see you though. I do see you. You’re impressive. I wanted — still want — to live up to that. Even when I’m a little slow.”

[okteiviakom]

"I don't need you to." Octavia was still clutching the rice, somehow. Even with how much she'd turned towards Duke. "I just need you to notice me."

Which, okay... was maybe something he'd failed at the moment Lucifer had walked in the room.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer--

Well, he had nothing to add here, but he watched Octavia's hands with curiosity.

[betterthanaplan]

He had. But since then he’d been pretty hyper aware of her.

“What’s this about?”

[okteiviakom]

"About...?"

Octavia's confusion wasn't entirely feigned. She had not been drawing the direct lines between what she was saying and what she'd been upset about.

Until now, anyway.

"Oh." Yes, like that. Her gaze fell towards the container in her hands. "You... ditched me. Earlier. When Lucifer came in."

[my_own_advocate]

"Ditched you?" Lucifer said, frowning.

[betterthanaplan]

"I didn't go anywhere," Duke said, frowning. His stomach was sinking fast. (How was he still constantly getting things wrong?)

[okteiviakom]

It was not constant. They were just both... not in the most stable place they could be.

Feeling embarrassed about the whole thing was starting to come back to Octavia in full force, again. "I was trying to touch you," she muttered, "and you just... sat up."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's arm was still firmly around Duke, but his fingers had landed on Octavia's back. He said nothing, just sort of-- tried to hold them together.

[betterthanaplan]

(It felt constant to him right now because he was walking on eggshells. Had been since Haven. Not that he was very good at expressing that, even to himself.)

". . . Okay," Duke said slowly. "I -- didn't realize. I'm sorry."

He knew better by now than to point out that it felt like an overreaction for her to shut down over that.

[okteiviakom]

Yes, it did feel like an overreaction, which made it excrutiating to be stuck between feeling that and still being unable to rationalize the hurt away.

(She was just exhausted today.)

"Like I said," Octavia mumbled, "it's fine."

[my_own_advocate]

"It sounds like just a minor... emotional mismatch," Lucifer said, "Sent careening pointlessly out of control by how desperately we're all attempting to cling to some semblance of stability."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke nodded, turning his attention back to his curry. Swallowing convulsively.

There was something sitting in the base of his throat.

[okteiviakom]

Great.

Octavia had to fight the urge to turn away, to curl around her fried rice again.

"Duke?"

[my_own_advocate]

"No one's mad at you," Lucifer said, blinking.

[betterthanaplan]

"I know," Duke said. (He was mad at himself.) He swallowed again. "It's fine. She said."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm just really tired, snogon," Octavia tried. "That's all."