okteiviakom | The Deck of the Cape Rouge, Wednesday Afternoon

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The Deck of the Cape Rouge, Wednesday Afternoon

Octavia was starting to feel like she was on a slightly more even keel, post-Haven. Things with Duke were still... maybe a little off, but, they were working on that, bit by bit. And while she hadn't really managed to unpack everything with her therapist yet, she'd at least opened up about some of it.

Things were moving forward.

And this afternoon, Octavia herself was moving. Specifically, on her yoga mat rolled out on the deck of the Rouge. It wasn't super warm out, but that was fine.

It felt like she could breathe.

[ooc: Open! ETA: NFB on all the sex talk, pls and thank you!]

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Octavia was still trying to make herself small. She'd maybe snap out of it in a moment.

"Yeah," she muttered. "I know."

Lucifer moved until his hip bumped against Octavia's, and he placed his hand on her knee. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Duke said, tilting his head against hers. "What you two do is between you two. No one deserves to have their private time blasted in public like that."

Octavia's eyes closed tightly. But she didn't need to be looking at anything to slide her hand onto Duke's thigh. The other, over Lucifer's hand on her knee.

(Giving in.)

"What did he tell you?"

"That it's not his place to tell me anything, except that you need something that he can provide." Duke put the hand not on the back of the bench on top of hers on his thigh. "Which is all I need to know."

Feeling at all left out was his own issue to deal with, not theirs.

Lucifer's mouth curved a tiny bit. He looked at Duke past Octavia, searching his face.

He held his hand steady under hers.

Octavia sighed, tilting her head a little more against Duke's. Hesitated, and then... chose to speak. If quietly.

"Yu mema haiplana in?"

One side of this had been their game, first, before her past had gotten in the way.

"Heiplan --" Duke started, then cut himself off.

Yes, he remembered that game. Vividly.

"Ah."

"That would be a large part of why we didn't tell you," Lucifer agreed.

"It goes both ways, these days," Octavia murmured. "But I don't bring it to you, because..."

Well. Obvious reasons.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

(Oh good, her cheeks were flushing again.)

Duke nodded, rubbing his hand against hers absently.

"I get it," he said. "That's . . . not my thing. I'm glad it's working for you guys, though."

"I think it's been good for us," Lucifer said quietly.

For Octavia, because she got to explore those parts of her in a safe place.

For him, because there was something he could actually do for her, in the place he was most comfortable.

Octavia fell quiet again.

All of this kind of just felt like an open wound, right now.

"Good," Duke said.

And told himself firmly that he was happy leaving that conversation at that.

Lucifer sighed.

He turned his head and tried to brush a kiss against Octavia's cheek.

"Would you like to spend the day in bed?"

Octavia didn't pull away, but she also didn't react to the kiss, either.

"No."

That was actually the last thing she wanted to do. Or felt like she could do. (Okay, no, sex would've been the last. But any sort of cuddly activity seemed like a close second.)

"Is there anything you do want to do?" Duke asked, still rubbing little circles on her hand. Not judging, honestly curious, trying to gauge where she was at.

"Or shall we just sit here?" Lucifer asked.

Where Octavia was at was that she was retreating - sinking, really - into herself. It was taking a lot of willpower not to draw her hands away from both of them.

She swallowed.

Duke could sense a little of that -- as much as he could ever sense anything going on with her -- and fell silent, rubbing gently at her hand.

Waiting for her to find her way back.

This time, it was Lucifer who took his cue from Duke. He fell silent, too.

Stayed where he was.

It started feeling like an oppressive silence really fast.

With a start, Octavia yanked both her hands back, then tried to stand up.

. . . Oh good, Duke fucked that up again.

"Tavi?" he asked, voice soft. They had her blocked in, and he wasn't moving yet. He would if she told him she needed space, but he was really hoping they'd manage to keep her here this time.

Lucifer looked up at her, a question in his eyes.

Octavia wasn't looking at either of them. She was staring down at the table in front of them again, at the empty glasses Duke had never gotten a chance to fill with anything.

But at least she wasn't fleeing?

"I don't feel safe." That was the thing, wasn't it? The open wound. Her voice sounded forced. "To be anywhere."

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