The Deck of the Cape Rouge, Port of Fandom, Thursday Evening

[okteiviakom]

Yesterday hadn't been great. Much like Lucifer, Octavia had come back to the Rouge for the night, but mostly because not doing so unannounced was something she was trying not to do, while doing so announced had felt like it would invite too many questions and make it all into far bigger of a deal than it had to be.

So she'd dragged her drunk self home. And in the morning, had made her hungover self stay with them all through breakfast. And then when the time had come for Duke to head into work, she'd taken off. Disappeared into the preserve, because if there was a place that could fix at least some of what she'd been feeling this week, it was there.

No comments on whether it had worked at all. But she was back, now. Sitting on one of the crates on the deck of the ship, holding a bottle of beer that she'd picked up from the Samsara, along with the sweater she'd stolen from Duke back when she'd moved back onto her own boat.

She hadn't gone below decks, yet. Hadn't announced her arrival, if anyone else was even in.

It was quiet, in the port. And she just wanted to listen to this silence for at least a few moments longer.

[ooc: Opennn.]

Comments

[betterthanaplan]

Duke let her, though he didn't relax at all yet. He shook his head again. "It's not -- I don't know what I want."

[my_own_advocate]

Well, if Octavia was going for the hand without getting some kind of massive reaction, Lucifer would try to touch Duke's shoulder again.

"We can always just sit down and have a drink while you figure it out," he said.

... Look, he was still Lucifer.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia didn't say anything. Again.

Just gave Duke's hand a faint squeeze.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke bit his lip to keep from saying something stupid again. He didn't pull away from either of them, but also didn't move to sit.

"Maybe." Duke looked at the nest again. "On the deck?"

[my_own_advocate]

"All right," Lucifer said, patting his shoulder gently. "I've got the bourbon, Octavia can grab the whiskey?"

[okteiviakom]

Selfishly, Octavia didn't really want to go back out on the deck.

But this wasn't about her. "Sure," she said, already pulling away again, back towards the bottle in question.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke let his hand trail off towards her as she walked away.

"Why does it always feel like I'm screwing things up?" he asked Lucifer softly.

[my_own_advocate]

"Because you always assume you're screwing up when something goes wrong," Lucifer said, "and then overreact accordingly. Vicious circle leading to self-fulfilling prophecies, really."

He brushed a quick kiss against Duke's cheek, retreating before he could get weird about it.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia picked up the whiskey, and tried not to look at the mess of blankets next to it.

Held the bottle up like a sign that she had it, glancing back at them.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke tried to give her a smile, but knew it came out weak.

"I feel like I'm running downhill at full speed, and I can't stop. And I'm dragging you two down with me."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer reached for the cabinet with the glasses without a second thought. (He'd definitely been on this boat too long.)

He pulled three out towards himself. "Please, I've spent most of my life further down than you can imagine," he said, "Your post-traumatic meltdown has nothing on the pits of hell, I assure you."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia did a faint little move with her eyebrows that seemed to suggest the sentiment of 'same'.

She didn't say anything, but, he was talking to both a literal and a metaphorical ruler of Hell, here.

[betterthanaplan]

"Exactly," Duke said helplessly. "You two have already been through so much. You shouldn't have to put up with my crap, too."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer reached for the bourbon as Duke spoke, and poured a full glass.

"Right, here is the part you don't seem to grasp," he said, taking a sip from the glass, "We are not in any way obligated to deal with your crap. I could be on a portal to Los Angeles in roughly 25 minutes, Octavia could probably live in the preserve for the rest of her life if it suited her fancy. We are choosing to deal with your crap because we want to." He waved the glass at Duke's entire... everything. "I don't know why this is such a hard thing for you to understand."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke opened and closed his mouth a couple times, then looked at Octavia. How many times had he tried to explain this to her? How many times had she explained things back to him?

How thick was he, that he still didn't -- couldn't -- wrap his head around it?

"This isn't easy for me," he said finally. "I don't know how to be -- cared about."

[okteiviakom]

"Tell me something I don't know," Octavia rasped, without any edge to her voice. It squeezed at her heart that he was still failing to grasp this.

She blamed Haven.

"You don't need to know how," she added. "You just need to try accept it."

[my_own_advocate]

"I mean, I'm happy to keep pouring alcohol for you, that tends to take the edge off of everything," Lucifer said, already starting to pour a new glass.

[betterthanaplan]

"Yeah," Duke said softly. "Thanks." He watched Lucifer pour for a moment, then reached for Octavia's hand to lead her back out onto the deck.

Lucifer could bring the glasses along when he finished pouring. Duke wanted to watch the water. It was easier for him to balance the big feelings inside him when he could watch the water.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia let him. Hey, at least he was taking the initiative instead of shrinking away from them.

This hurt way less.

And she made sure to bring the whiskey with her.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer didn't take long to finish pouring, and he quickly made his way above decks, drinking glasses in hand. "Mind taking one of these off of me?" he called.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke had never been the sort to be totally inactive in his trauma. That alone had been enough most of his life to convince people that he was fine.

Then he'd come to Fandom.

Duke reached for the glass with a nod of thanks, then looked back out over the water. Suddenly wishing he had a three-seater bench.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia set the whiskey down on the closest crate.

Then she, too, looked out over the water. For the second time tonight, while tugging her stolen sweater further up one shoulder.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer held out the other glass for her. He'd picked a spot beside Duke, with her on the other side; handing it to her meant reaching past Duke. Not that it mattered.

"Slightly better."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke gazed out over the water, sipping his drink in silence. Trying to decide what he could say, how he could explain the mess inside his head.

It might take awhile.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia took the glass, even though drinking was another thing she wasn't sure she was really feeling like doing anymore. But if nothing else, it gave her an excuse to brush her fingers against Lucifer's hand as she took it.

Then she went back to trying to decide whether she wanted to try leaning against Duke's side.