Octavia Blake (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
okteiviakom) wrote2020-05-23 01:33 am
okteiviakom) wrote2020-05-23 01:33 am
The Woods, then Arkadia, Friday FT
Indra wasn't there in the cave anymore when they reached the hideout, and Octavia barely noticed. She certainly wasn't surprised - everything was falling apart. Why wouldn't Indra leave, too?
But Bellamy was still there.
And Octavia couldn't even look at him. Just seeing him standing there out of the corner of her eye was too much, and she turned her back on him, and it was like she could feel him staring at her back even before she heard his voice.
"Where's Lincoln?"
She drew a shuddering breath.
"Pike put a bullet in his brain."
She wanted to sound cutting. She just sounded exhausted, and her eyes were starting to well up again.
And then Bellamy said, "O, I am so so--" and even before he finished his sentence, Octavia had whirred around, her hand balled into a fist. It knocked him to the side when it connected with his face. He straightened up slowly, staring at her. And made no move to protect himself. Somehow that was worse.
So she hit him again.
"Octavia," she could barely hear Kane saying, "that's enough." All she could see was Bellamy. There was blood on his face. Not enough of it, said a dark voice inside her.
And Bellamy ground out, "Kane, stay out of this."
She punched him again.
And then kept going, and he didn't make a single move to stop her. He kept his bound hands down, and barked at Miller to back off when he tried to grab at her. And so Octavia kept hitting him, hard enough that she wouldn't have been able to say which of them it was doing more damage to, which blood was his and which was from her own split knuckles.
There wasn't enough of it, either way. The pain and the blood, it wasn't enough. She stopped once he was crumpled on the ground, his face streaked with red. She stood over him, her heart pounding, her heart somehow still breaking, and she said, "You're dead to me."
No one tried to stop her getting the hell out of the cave.
-----
When she came back, no one tried to talk to her about it, either. And someone had helped clean the blood off Bellamy's face. He was sitting off to the side, away from the rest. Still bound.
She didn't look at him.
Turned out grounders had sounded the horns while they'd been in Arkadia. They signaled that a new commander had ascended, and that Lexa was dead, and that was why Indra had left. Octavia ignored most of the conversation about what they were to do now, choosing instead to sharpen her sword. (The sword. It still felt barely hers, but it would do. It would have to.) All she contributed was that the only thing that mattered now was killing Pike.
-----
Nothing mattered much. For the next couple of days, it was as if Octavia was looking at the world through a red fog, and felt an odd mix of two conflicting things. Her rage ran hot; her resolve for getting vengeance ran cold. Her feeling of calm was a steely sort.
It didn't really matter that Monty was defecting to their side. Didn't really matter that she and Kane and Bellamy got captured by Pike and his men when they went to get Monty, or that in an attempt to convince Pike of his loyalty, Bellamy offered to lead him to the rest of Kane's insurgents - only to lead them right to the grounder blockade, instead.
All that mattered to Octavia was that in all of this, she did not succeed in killing Pike. She tried, make no mistake: as soon they were surrounded by grounders, and all of Pike's men lay on the ground with arrows sticking out of them, she rushed over to grab a knife from one of them, and attempted to charge at Pike, grasping the knife between her still-bound hands.
But Kane stopped her.
"No," he said, holding her by the shoulders. "The grounders are gonna need him alive. They didn't get justice for Finn. We won't get away with it again."
She wasn't sure why she listened to him. Maybe it was to honor Lincoln. Or maybe it was because she knew the grounders shared her rage. Whichever it was, she let them take Pike away, to Polis, to the new commander. Kane went with them.
And Octavia was back to not caring.
On the way back to the cave, she unbraided her hair. Then left it that way.
-----
Didn't matter how uninterested and numb Octavia felt, things around her kept rolling on. Didn't even matter that she tried to leave: Clarke and Jasper showed up, bringing news from Polis and Arkadia. Both involved microchips in ways that didn't make any sense and that Octavia didn't bother trying to understand, but, the new commander was an Azgeda usurper who didn't have the chip that would have made her a real commander, while Arkadia was now overrun with mind control as Jaha had distributed chips to practically everyone there. Both chips held AIs, though the one now calling the shots in Arkadia was a much more malevolent one.
No, there was never a dull moment on the Ground.
Octavia was still going to leave. She'd just help with what they couldn't get done without her, and then she'd be gone. Back to the wilderness where she belonged. Maybe if she spent long enough in the woods they would eventually swallow her up. Or, maybe if she kept walking through the woods long enough, she would eventually walk out of them - and onto cobble stone streets, a boardwalk, the docks --
Anyway. She wasn't Trikru, she wasn't Skaikru.
Here, she was nothing.
-----
And then it turned out they needed to find Luna. Lincoln's friend Luna, who was the head of a clan that lived east towards the sea and then across it.
Luna kom Floukru.
Octavia didn't even care what they needed to find her for, though she did actually listen when Clarke explained that it was because Luna was a Nightblood, and that that meant she would be able to take the commander chip, which in turn would maybe allow her to access the information to tell them how to stop the AI - ALIE - that had taken over the people of Arkadia.
Octavia really didn't care. She just wanted to go to Floukru.
But first, to get Lincoln's book with the instructions on how to get there, they had to go back to Arkadia, which turned out to be empty. Raven said it was because ALIE's mission was to chip everyone, and as it had already taken everyone it could, it had moved everyone somewhere else to work on other people.
The ground was still red outside the gates in the spot they'd executed Lincoln in. Octavia would not mind getting the hell out again quickly. The feeling didn't lessen any when she made it to Lincoln's quarters. Everything was exactly the same it had been: his bed was made, his stuff was on the little desk to the side, there were even a few flowers in a glass. Like his room didn't know he was dead.
Just like her room on the island didn't know she was gone.
Grief rushed through her again. Became unbearable, again. She hit the desk, then sent everything on it flying onto the floor. Then leaned heavily against it with her hands and tried to hold back a sob. Her throat was tight.
"Hey." She'd forgotten Jasper had come with her. He was still standing in the doorway. "Remember when you told me... it gets better?"
The noise she made began as a joyless laugh, but ended up just sounding pained. "That was a lie," she snapped.
"It's okay to fall apart a little, Octavia," Jasper told him, just more quietly. "You loved him."
Octavia looked towards the ceiling, trying her very hardest to keep it together. To not yell at him about how he knew nothing about what he was talking about. How she'd loved Lincoln, yes, with her entire heart, but how she hadn't been in love with him anymore, but he'd still had that feeling for her, and how she'd tried to keep the guilt of that at bay the entire time she'd been back because it felt unfair towards him that she'd been returned to him grieving for someone else. And now he was dead because he was too good to let anyone else die when he'd had a way to stop it.
She said nothing, just forced herself to go through Lincoln's belongings until she found his leather-bound book.
And all that effort in not falling apart was in vein, because once they were outside again, Bellamy carried Lincoln's body within Arkadia's walls. Octavia fell to her knees beside him, touched his cheek gently with her fingertips, and bent down to kiss his forehead.
And broke down, and cried out everything she'd been holding back since Pike put the gun to his head.
-----
They built him a proper funeral pyre, and Octavia lit it and said the proper words.
"Yu gonplei ste odon."
Your fight is over.
She stared at Bellamy over the flames, across the pyre. He wouldn't look at her.
After a moment, of waiting, of hoping for something, she called out, "Time to go!" and stalked off. They needed to get to Luna, and she was done saying her goodbyes.
[ooc: NFB, NFI, OOC all good. Taken with much summarizing from The 100 episodes 10-12. Content warning for violence.]
But Bellamy was still there.
And Octavia couldn't even look at him. Just seeing him standing there out of the corner of her eye was too much, and she turned her back on him, and it was like she could feel him staring at her back even before she heard his voice.
"Where's Lincoln?"
She drew a shuddering breath.
"Pike put a bullet in his brain."
She wanted to sound cutting. She just sounded exhausted, and her eyes were starting to well up again.
And then Bellamy said, "O, I am so so--" and even before he finished his sentence, Octavia had whirred around, her hand balled into a fist. It knocked him to the side when it connected with his face. He straightened up slowly, staring at her. And made no move to protect himself. Somehow that was worse.
So she hit him again.
"Octavia," she could barely hear Kane saying, "that's enough." All she could see was Bellamy. There was blood on his face. Not enough of it, said a dark voice inside her.
And Bellamy ground out, "Kane, stay out of this."
She punched him again.
And then kept going, and he didn't make a single move to stop her. He kept his bound hands down, and barked at Miller to back off when he tried to grab at her. And so Octavia kept hitting him, hard enough that she wouldn't have been able to say which of them it was doing more damage to, which blood was his and which was from her own split knuckles.
There wasn't enough of it, either way. The pain and the blood, it wasn't enough. She stopped once he was crumpled on the ground, his face streaked with red. She stood over him, her heart pounding, her heart somehow still breaking, and she said, "You're dead to me."
No one tried to stop her getting the hell out of the cave.
When she came back, no one tried to talk to her about it, either. And someone had helped clean the blood off Bellamy's face. He was sitting off to the side, away from the rest. Still bound.
She didn't look at him.
Turned out grounders had sounded the horns while they'd been in Arkadia. They signaled that a new commander had ascended, and that Lexa was dead, and that was why Indra had left. Octavia ignored most of the conversation about what they were to do now, choosing instead to sharpen her sword. (The sword. It still felt barely hers, but it would do. It would have to.) All she contributed was that the only thing that mattered now was killing Pike.
Nothing mattered much. For the next couple of days, it was as if Octavia was looking at the world through a red fog, and felt an odd mix of two conflicting things. Her rage ran hot; her resolve for getting vengeance ran cold. Her feeling of calm was a steely sort.
It didn't really matter that Monty was defecting to their side. Didn't really matter that she and Kane and Bellamy got captured by Pike and his men when they went to get Monty, or that in an attempt to convince Pike of his loyalty, Bellamy offered to lead him to the rest of Kane's insurgents - only to lead them right to the grounder blockade, instead.
All that mattered to Octavia was that in all of this, she did not succeed in killing Pike. She tried, make no mistake: as soon they were surrounded by grounders, and all of Pike's men lay on the ground with arrows sticking out of them, she rushed over to grab a knife from one of them, and attempted to charge at Pike, grasping the knife between her still-bound hands.
But Kane stopped her.
"No," he said, holding her by the shoulders. "The grounders are gonna need him alive. They didn't get justice for Finn. We won't get away with it again."
She wasn't sure why she listened to him. Maybe it was to honor Lincoln. Or maybe it was because she knew the grounders shared her rage. Whichever it was, she let them take Pike away, to Polis, to the new commander. Kane went with them.
And Octavia was back to not caring.
On the way back to the cave, she unbraided her hair. Then left it that way.
Didn't matter how uninterested and numb Octavia felt, things around her kept rolling on. Didn't even matter that she tried to leave: Clarke and Jasper showed up, bringing news from Polis and Arkadia. Both involved microchips in ways that didn't make any sense and that Octavia didn't bother trying to understand, but, the new commander was an Azgeda usurper who didn't have the chip that would have made her a real commander, while Arkadia was now overrun with mind control as Jaha had distributed chips to practically everyone there. Both chips held AIs, though the one now calling the shots in Arkadia was a much more malevolent one.
No, there was never a dull moment on the Ground.
Octavia was still going to leave. She'd just help with what they couldn't get done without her, and then she'd be gone. Back to the wilderness where she belonged. Maybe if she spent long enough in the woods they would eventually swallow her up. Or, maybe if she kept walking through the woods long enough, she would eventually walk out of them - and onto cobble stone streets, a boardwalk, the docks --
Anyway. She wasn't Trikru, she wasn't Skaikru.
Here, she was nothing.
And then it turned out they needed to find Luna. Lincoln's friend Luna, who was the head of a clan that lived east towards the sea and then across it.
Luna kom Floukru.
Octavia didn't even care what they needed to find her for, though she did actually listen when Clarke explained that it was because Luna was a Nightblood, and that that meant she would be able to take the commander chip, which in turn would maybe allow her to access the information to tell them how to stop the AI - ALIE - that had taken over the people of Arkadia.
Octavia really didn't care. She just wanted to go to Floukru.
But first, to get Lincoln's book with the instructions on how to get there, they had to go back to Arkadia, which turned out to be empty. Raven said it was because ALIE's mission was to chip everyone, and as it had already taken everyone it could, it had moved everyone somewhere else to work on other people.
The ground was still red outside the gates in the spot they'd executed Lincoln in. Octavia would not mind getting the hell out again quickly. The feeling didn't lessen any when she made it to Lincoln's quarters. Everything was exactly the same it had been: his bed was made, his stuff was on the little desk to the side, there were even a few flowers in a glass. Like his room didn't know he was dead.
Just like her room on the island didn't know she was gone.
Grief rushed through her again. Became unbearable, again. She hit the desk, then sent everything on it flying onto the floor. Then leaned heavily against it with her hands and tried to hold back a sob. Her throat was tight.
"Hey." She'd forgotten Jasper had come with her. He was still standing in the doorway. "Remember when you told me... it gets better?"
The noise she made began as a joyless laugh, but ended up just sounding pained. "That was a lie," she snapped.
"It's okay to fall apart a little, Octavia," Jasper told him, just more quietly. "You loved him."
Octavia looked towards the ceiling, trying her very hardest to keep it together. To not yell at him about how he knew nothing about what he was talking about. How she'd loved Lincoln, yes, with her entire heart, but how she hadn't been in love with him anymore, but he'd still had that feeling for her, and how she'd tried to keep the guilt of that at bay the entire time she'd been back because it felt unfair towards him that she'd been returned to him grieving for someone else. And now he was dead because he was too good to let anyone else die when he'd had a way to stop it.
She said nothing, just forced herself to go through Lincoln's belongings until she found his leather-bound book.
And all that effort in not falling apart was in vein, because once they were outside again, Bellamy carried Lincoln's body within Arkadia's walls. Octavia fell to her knees beside him, touched his cheek gently with her fingertips, and bent down to kiss his forehead.
And broke down, and cried out everything she'd been holding back since Pike put the gun to his head.
They built him a proper funeral pyre, and Octavia lit it and said the proper words.
"Yu gonplei ste odon."
Your fight is over.
She stared at Bellamy over the flames, across the pyre. He wouldn't look at her.
After a moment, of waiting, of hoping for something, she called out, "Time to go!" and stalked off. They needed to get to Luna, and she was done saying her goodbyes.
[ooc: NFB, NFI, OOC all good. Taken with much summarizing from The 100 episodes 10-12. Content warning for violence.]