An Island Somewhere Off the Coast, Thursday

[okteiviakom]

Wednesday had made it two weeks that Octavia, Duke and Lucifer had been out at sea on the OceaNyx. Things on Fandom had gone back to normal, according to Eric's texts on Tuesday, but they were still out here.

Octavia was pretty sure everyone agreed that their second week had been much worse than the first. What she wasn't sure about was whether the others were finding being on the boat to have gotten as suffocating now as she was. The only times she felt like she could really breathe was when they docked at one of the random islands.

Like at this one, right now.

She was sitting at what could charitably be referred to as a tiny stretch of beach, her shoes off, just her toes in the water. It was a grounding, sensory thing.

There had been such little room for screaming in the past week.

[ooc: NFB due to distance, open to the guys and for texts/calls.]

Comments

[okteiviakom]

How did you retreat from someone who'd already pulled every part of himself away?

Anyway, Octavia took his hand like it was the only thing between her and drowning, the only reason that she didn't do it very fast but instead telegraphed the movement being that she didn't want to spook him.

Glove or no glove, she gave his hand a squeeze.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke squeezed her hand back.

"Can you . . ." he started softly, then changed his mind and started again. "Do you believe me now?"

Did she trust him? Did she understand that he was doing his best but was floundering around in the dark? That he was terrified?

[okteiviakom]

"About which part?" Octavia murmured, her gaze flicking from their hands up to his face.

[betterthanaplan]

All of it. Everything. Her saying she didn't believe him had hurt. Far more than her cursing earlier had.

"That I want to fix this. And I'll listen to any suggestions you may have about how."

[okteiviakom]

"Maybe," Octavia said, because this past week had hurt, ultimately much worse than the actual supernatural tasing had, and she didn't have it in her to lie about it.

But she could give him this much:

She squeezed his hand again, and looked down, and then up again. "This is a start."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke nodded. If he couldn't offer more than trying, than he couldn't expect more from her.

He felt like he was speeding downhill, out of control. (He'd felt like that since waking up in Haven weeks ago.) But at least he could hold onto her hand.

"Should we go find Luce?"

[okteiviakom]

And even with the glove, Octavia could feel the familiar shape of his hand. She'd held it probably a thousand times before.

It centered her a little.

Which would maybe help her slow down his speeding eventually, too.

"Pretty sure if we just call for him," she replied, glancing back towards where they'd come from, "he'll come."

[betterthanaplan]

"Maybe you should," Duke said. "Not, uh. Sure he'll want to come if it's just me."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia just watched him for a second. And then:

"I think you should give it a try."

It wasn't pointed. Mild, if anything.

[betterthanaplan]

Was this a test? It felt like a test. (Everything felt like a test.)

Duke took a deep breath, then turned his head in the general direction of the beach. "Hey Luce! We're . . . done yelling now!"

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer hadn't expected Duke to call. He'd expected to hear from Octavia, and to have to trudge back to once again sit with her about whatever was going on with Duke.

He blinked, her shoes in his hand, and turned to look at the boat.

"I'm on my way, then!" he called, and began to walk towards them.

He sounded a little surprised. But not unhappily so.

[okteiviakom]

If it had been a test, Duke would have passed.

Octavia merely looked up at Duke again. Didn't say 'I told you so', but maybe it was in her eyes anyway.

[betterthanaplan]

Well, she certainly had.

He gave her hand a squeeze and offered Lucifer a wobbly smile when he arrived.

"Hi. I'm an idiot."

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, that we can agree on," Lucifer said, with a faint smile.

He held the shoes out for Octavia.

"I would--" No, offering a hug might get him shut down again, better not. (Even if he badly wanted to at this, the first, smallest excuse of an olive branch.)

[okteiviakom]

Octavia should probably have let go of Duke's hand to have the use of both of hers.

She did not.

It was fine, she could take the shoes with just the one. It wasn't like they were her big stompy boots or anything else, heavy, anyway.

She was watching both their faces, now. But she spoke to Lucifer. "Go on." She would give a bigger nudge, if needed. But might as well start small.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke offered Lucifer his free hand.

"It has been pointed out that I have been needlessly aloof."

[my_own_advocate]

"A bit," Lucifer allowed. He glanced down at Duke's hand, and said, "I would really rather give you a hug."

[okteiviakom]

At that, Octavia stepped back a little. Giving room.

Loosening her hold on Duke's hand, too.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke gave her hand a quick squeeze before loosening his own grip and turning to pull Lucifer into a firm hug with his free arm. Not totally letting her go even as he leaned into Lucifer's request.

He could be slow at times, but he did usually get there in the end.

[my_own_advocate]

That was a part of the bit that made it very hard to follow through on any thoughts of leaving Duke.

Lucifer wrapped an arm around him and hugged Duke tight.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia was mostly just gently cradling Duke's fingers with her own, now, but she hadn't let go.

She watched them.

It was a little bittersweet, for reasons that were probably obvious.

[betterthanaplan]

The precise reasons that Duke had been avoiding doing this, yes.

"I don't know how to do all this," he told Lucifer. Catching him up on what he'd told Octavia. "Not just the troubles. Letting you guys help. I'm not -- it's not an excuse. And I'm going to try harder. But -- that's where I'm at."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed, tucking his face into Duke's neck.

The thing about bittersweet was, it could fall one way or the other, depending on what you valued, wasn't it? And now there were many things he could say, but for once, he settled on the core concept of it all. "One day you will accept that we love you," he murmured. "Genuinely."

[okteiviakom]

No one was probably really watching Octavia, but she nodded all the same.

And didn't say anything about how she'd thought he already had.

[betterthanaplan]

It came and went. Like recovery. It wasn't a straight line.

"I'm working on it," he said.

The trouble he had now wasn't flashy. There'd be no way of knowing when it went away other than to try touching Octavia skin to skin, which he wasn't going to purposefully do any time soon.

But something was unknotting inside Duke. And he could hope.