"It doesn't matter," Lucifer said. "The bloody madness of Hell is all these humans storming the gates, demanding to be let in because they're upset with themselves for-- not feeding their puppy or having a bad day in front of their children or just being moderately annoying for a longer period of time. And then they punish themselves forever for some stupid lapse of judgment while real, unrepentant villains walk away untouched."

Right. He should probably get to the bit where this was relevant, wasn't it?

"There has to be a sense of justice to the universe," he said. "We can't just go around condemning people to suffer and die because they were a let down. That's not a crime. That's just-- most humans being a bit shit a lot of the time."