Lucifer's Mansion, Sunday Evening

[okteiviakom]

Tomorrow, they'd be home in the Bahamas again, most likely. But right now... Octavia and Lucifer were exploring the latter's old mansion. In Octavia's case, with a glass of wine in hand, and a sort of a permanent mix of amusement and curiosity on her face.

"Oh, there's a lot that hasn't been done yet, isn't there?" she said, peering into the living room. "Weird."

[ooc: For that guy with all the gray! No, the other one.]

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[okteiviakom]

Octavia's hand found his cheek.

"Mm?" she prompted, softly.

[my_own_advocate]

"Nothing," Lucifer sighed.

[okteiviakom]

"Okay."

The backs of her fingers brushed along his skin.

"You know you can tell me" she added, gently. "But you know you don't have to, either."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer blew out a breath and closed his eyes. He let himself just... feel the touch.

Thinking. Wishing he wasn't.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia was going to give him a moment. She would fill the silence herself before too long if it came to that.

But it was not a hardship to just touch for a moment, letting her fingers travel over his skin, over the salt-and-pepper of his stubble.

[my_own_advocate]

"Am I good?" Lucifer asked.

He hated how small his voice sounded.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's hand stilled, briefly. Then it slid to fully cup his cheek.

"Yes," she said. "You are."

[my_own_advocate]

"Even though I didn't," Lucifer started. Stopped. Buried his face against her chest.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's arm immediately slid around his shoulders, as best it could.

"Hey," she murmured, with concern. "Are you okay?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Sorry," Lucifer whispered. "Just getting lost in old memories best left behind."

[okteiviakom]

"Don't be sorry," Octavia murmured. "We all do that, sometimes."

They all had a lot of shit behind them.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "I just-- wonder sometimes," he said. "Why He thought that I needed... that... to be good."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's hand found the back of his neck.

"Your father had a lot of bad ideas," she muttered.

[my_own_advocate]

"Am I being selfish, staying here?" Lucifer whispered. "Is that all that I am without Him?"

[okteiviakom]

"You're not selfish for not falling into a trap," Octavia rasped.

[my_own_advocate]

"I hope so," Lucifer said quietly.

[okteiviakom]

"I know so," Octavia told him. Didn't mean it wasn't still complicated, even for her - but out of the two of them, she had more of a chance of pretending it wasn't, so she'd take it.

At least when he got like this.

When he wondered whether he was good.

"You've been made to feel so many things about yourself," she added, a little softer again. "So many of them completely unfair."

[my_own_advocate]

"I'm just-- so proud of you, for everything you've done," Lucifer whispered. "I wish I could stop doubting what I've done."

[okteiviakom]

"You know I have a lot to doubt, too," Octavia murmured. "Things usually seem more clear from the outside."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. He slid up, cupped her face with one hand. He brushed a thumb over some of the lines on her face.

He looked at her.

[okteiviakom]

And Octavia looked back at him.

Quiet and calm.

[my_own_advocate]

Like the ocean, or the woods.

"Sometimes you and him are all that keep me together," Lucifer murmured.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's lips curved softly on one side. A little wry, but warm.

"It's what we're here for," she whispered.

[my_own_advocate]

"I love you," Lucifer said, voice rough.

He kissed her gently.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia reciprocated in much the same way, with gentleness and warmth.

An ease.