NYC, An Alternate Mainland, Tuesday Noon

[okteiviakom]

Octavia had seriously considered skipping therapy today. Between the way her arms ached from overdue sword practice, the pollen, and the clusterfuck of yesterday morning, it had been hard to find the motivation to get ready, take the portal, and go.

But it was hard every week.

So she'd done it, even though she felt like she had nothing to say this week. Or about this week. And last week was old news, now. (Any success she'd had there had been overwritten, wiped away.) So of course those things were what Dr. Baker zeroed in on practically as soon as she was through the office door.

She asked Octavia if she'd talked to her boyfriend after their session last week.

"Yeah."

She asked if they'd settled things.

"I guess."

She asked if there was anything bothering her now.

Octavia scoffed. Looked over towards the wall, the painting hanging there, all bland abstract colors. "Do you want me to give you a list?"

She said Octavia could do so, if she'd like.

So Octavia sank further back in her chair.

"Island's being attacked by sex pollen," she started in a low rasp, "which is exactly what it sounds like, so that's one." She held up one finger. It didn't look any less sarcastic when she added another. "Two, it's annoying as hell." Another. "Three, my -- Duke had a bad reaction to it, so now he and Lucifer are in Baltimore for the week at a hotel or something."

A beat.

"Maybe that last part's number four." Another. "So, five: Lucifer wanted me to go with them, but I can't, I couldn't."

Oh, hey, her voice was suddenly getting tighter. Her hand dropped back in her lap.

"And, so, six, Duke's more upset now that I didn't go with them, and seven, I texted him I'm sorry and he didn't reply back at all, and I think I deserve that, and --"

Shuddery breath.

"And Lucifer, I guess he thinks I don't think about Duke enough." Helpless shrug. "So that's -- eight? Nine. Nine things bothering me."

And then Dr. Baker asked why, exactly, she felt like she couldn't join her partners in Baltimore for a week.

And it was like a dam broke.

-----

Afterwards, Octavia found a local swim center. She tried, for a while, to get in some actual swimming practice, cobbled together from what she'd looked up online and what she'd previously eavesdropped in the pool, but her arms protested too much. So she just floated. A lot. And while she floated, she thought about the things she'd gone over with Dr. Baker, things they'd pick up again on Friday morning, because she was now officially up to two sessions per week.

Compromising. Learning to pause before reacting. Learning to open her damn mouth when it mattered (her words, not her therapist's).

The stupid homework assignment she'd been given.

Her head felt too loud in a way that even the strange muted everything of having her ears underwater couldn't fix. She almost, almost longed to be back on the island already. The pollen hadn't entirely had time to leave her system yet, but she knew the first lungful back on Fandom would at least shift some of her focus to other kinds of noisy thoughts.

But for now... She was floating.

[ooc: Open for calls and texts, post-float.]